Hello and thank you for visiting! My name is Jen and I am an A type on a journey to becoming a B type. What is a B type you might ask? Well, to me it’s about less doing and thinking and more about BEING. As far back as I can remember, planning has been my source of comfort when life felt chaotic. Planning offered me a grounding anchor when everything around me swirled. It provided me direction and a path to move forward. It meant I did not have to deal with unknowns – just follow the plan and everything will work out.
But what happens when your plans fail and you can’t see a picture of your future? What happens when you don’t know what the next move is? This is my story.
In 2015 the life I had planned for myself abruptly came to end. My marriage ended to my partner of 18 years. I did not plan to get divorced. I did not plan to be a single parent half the time. I guess no one really plans for this…but this was especially unsettling for an A type like myself.
In the first month of separation, my instincts were to get as many books on the subject and find the checklist on how to navigate this new life of mine. I can do this I thought. I am not the first person to get divorced. I even bought a fresh new notebook to make my plan!
I also dove in deep into the world of mindfulness and yoga, started a meditation practice and began to explore some of the eastern philosophies on living. I began to realize that “making a plan” was my defense mechanism. It gave me the illusion of protecting me from having to deal with uncertainty…but it also distracted me from the opportunity to live fully and be in the moment.
In this past year I have learned that life is uncertain and we can’t control the future. And we can’t change the past so let go of it because it is not a productive use of energy. All we can do is show up to what is in front of us and be in the present.
So have I abandoned my planning ways? Of course not! But my frame on a planning is different. I like to think of it more as intention setting than subscribing to a rigid plan. And I am working on allowing myself to be vulnerable and lean into the uncertainty of life.
This blog will be an outlet for me to share my successes and failures as I navigate my new approach to life. I hope my journey can inspire others and I also hope you will share your journey so I can learn too!